lost somewhere between translation and displacement

I have been removed.

 

My identity displaced,

Lost somewhere in the diasporas of my bloodline and borders.  

 

My right of return has always felt hidden

Behind amy grandmother’s Spanish last name

And the border she crossed to have a child whose father already had a wife.

 

I am compartmentalized by everyone.

Only the sun legitimizes me

Because I am clearly her child.

 

But I don’t know any of her other children’s languages

Or how they make their food

Or how they dance.

 

All I know is that I am lost,

And lonely.

 

Let me be

Xicana.

Let me be

Palestinian.

 

I am begging this of myself as much as I am begging this of you.

 

The colonizer broke my blood into fractions

So I quantify myself

15% 23% 37% 25%  

And get forgotten in the numbers

 

But

I go to sleep, and

I am everything.

 

Broken, lost, and whole,

I exist

In pieces,

Sometimes.

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